one week down, one more to go....
When you are in the rush, rush of here and there in life, it is amazing just how much your kids fill your thoughts and life isn't it? Master B has been gone a week, well actually not quite a week, just 5 days but it seems like so much longer....
I miss his crazy arguments and reasons why he can't start his homework until after he has chatted on msn with his school friends, whose company he left not half an hour before.
I miss his mop of blonde hair that all too frequently I have to address with "you need a hair cut!"
I miss the attempt at rational conversation around "school is gay, teachers are gay, what a waste of the last 10 years of my life".
I miss the fact that even though he is a know it all teen, he still likes the fact that his mum comes upstairs each night to kiss him good night and give him a cuddle (or her cold hands under quilt if the mischevious mood strikes).
I miss having to navigate the chicanes of the meals area in the morning, me with 2 dogs in hot pursuit waiting for breakfast, Jimmi Hendrix junior strumming away on his electric guitar, squeezing in 10 minutes of playing time before we leave for school - his 2 guitars sitting side by side unmoved for the last 5 days are such a reminder he isn't here right now.
Bella, my gorgeous mutt, is also at a loss. Sure I'm here, hubby is here and A is here too - but not her beloved B!! The one who on arriving home every afternoon without fail, drops to the floor to smother her with pats and kisses on the top of her head. She laying there tail beating out that steady drum of pure heaven as she gets that special moment of attention. Then when the cuddles are over, she starts annoying him with the ball at his feet, til he throws it for her - yeah in the house, we are a doggy household - no apologies.
Instead I now find my quiet TV time interrupted with the continual arrival of a slightly soggy, split tennis ball in my lap and a big pair of pathetic brown eyes willing me to just pick it up and throw it for her.
It is an ironic and yet beautifully moving thing - this dear sweet boy who has at times been in the shadow of his older brother's hearing loss, sure leaves a big old hole when he isn't here.
Nine more sleeps to go and counting......